This month is the month of love. And while others are dedicating their topics to date night and pink polish, we at Be My Intention are focusing on falling in love with ourselves. If you want to check out the more from this series hop on over to this page.
10 Steps to Falling in Love with Myself: Step One- Write a Personal Mission Statement.
When a company is being built there are a lot of things to be considered. Who your market is going to be, where you want to specialize, how you earn a profit, as well as what your main purpose or goal is. A purpose, or mission statement is a crucial part to a business’s vision. It defines who they are and where they’re going. It gives them a sense of why they do what they do. The missions look differently with every company varying from helping people in a small community with little profit in mind, to building an untouchable exclusive brand that becomes the want of every billionaire in the world but, the thing that they all have in common is vision. They see the future that they want, and see what they want to represent, and despite how successful or unsuccessful they are they will stand by this representation of themselves.
If a mission statement is so important to a business creating the outcome they want, then shouldn’t it be important to me in creating the outcome I want for my life?
When writing my mission statement I found that I was forced to address every piece of my spirit. I was actively rummaging through all of the things I love about myself, as well as all of the things I hate. My successes and talents were dug out of their graves and each of my failures stood right beside them. My heart and soul was laid out. It was vulnerable and exposed ready to be judged, evaluated, and analyzed. And so it was.
Something had become very clear to me- my personal goals and visions need not be defined by outside elements. I cannot view my success based on the influence of what exists around me. My success must lie in who I am and what I can create no matter what is going on around me. I must be able to feel valued regardless of what the world throws at me.
Life will never be exactly what I plan for, so how do I find purpose and joy despite what surprises I encounter?
What do I want for my life? What brings me joy? What satisfies and fulfills me no matter what?
- Shut the door. Take time to dedicate to this. This is important. Were talking about your mission statement. Like, your one defining life statement. It’s sort of a big deal, ya know. So close the door. Kick the kids out. Turn your phone off. Be alone. And breathe.
- Identify your “this is what will bring me happiness” thing. I had been feeling quite a bit like a failure. When I would think about what I really, really wanted in my life and the goal that I felt would ultimately bring me happiness it always broke down to one thing- a family. I wanted more than anything to be a wife and a mother. And I was determined that I would be the greatest at each of those things, and that they were my true calling. But, my knight in shining amor was no where to be found, and I was no where ready to have kids. So, because I didn’t have either of those things I felt like I was failing at my life. It wasn’t until I recognized how much my “failure” was entirely out of my control, that I was able to stop feeling like a failure and start feeling more like there were simply certain things that just hadn’t happened for me yet. And realized I had no control in forcing them to happen. I had been relying on something that is beyond my control to bring me purpose, and, well, that’s just silly. I recognized that I don’t want another person or circumstance to be in control of my happiness. Those things can always change or fail me. I want my happiness to be dependent on what I can directly create. What are you counting on to bring you happiness? Is it something you can control, or are you waiting for the stars to magically align?
- Learn what is important to you. Digging in can be a bit hard, so I gave myself time limits. I had a list of questions in front of me and told myself to answer each of them in less than thirty seconds. I didn’t sit and dwell and try to make it perfect. I just answered. And the best thing happened. As I answered I started seeing patterns, and passions. The things that most excite me kept showing up, and the things that are the most important to me were consistent.
- What makes you smile?
- What makes you feel great about yourself?
- Who inspires you most and what do you admire about them?
- What are some things you are naturally good at?
- What would you most regret not fully doing, being, or having?
- What are some difficulties you’ve encountered and how did you get through them?
- If you could share a message with a large group of people what would it be and who would it be to?
- Make a list of connecting words. With a two to three minute time limit in mind I started writing out every word that I relate to. Empathy, passion, vision, empowerment. The list went on and on. And by the end of my few minutes I had suddenly created the most emotionally impactful concoction of words I could come up with. It may not have moved others, but it was mine. And I loved it. What words would be on your list. What moves you, grooves you, and makes your heart pump?
- Start listing things. Then list more things, and more things. Until you cry. Literally. Sentences, words, phrases. Inspired by each of my previous steps and stemming from what I had just learned about myself I began to write out everything that I desired for my life. To connect. To find beauty in everything. Never second guess. Experience to the fullest. I wrote out more of these things than I even knew existed in my mind. I started combining the ones that kept rewriting themselves until they turned into an actual living, breathing, mission statement. And when it was right, it was right. And it brought me to tears. What phrases define you? What lights you up inside?
When you embark on this process I encourage you to be open to yourself. You are working to find the things that will allow you to be joyous in even the worst of times. The pieces that you can actively put into your life that will make everything you do worthwhile. This isn’t about making life goals, or setting up another way for you to disappoint yourself, but is about discovering your truth. Allow the truth to come out. Don’t let anything be hidden out of fear or embarrassment. This is between you and your heart and will all be part of the process to discovering where your true joy lies.
Now that I have a mission statement, I have a filter to put everything I do through. I continually ask myself, “Does this line up with my mission?” It’s not always easy, and sometimes I’m way off target, but it’s an awesome guide to make sure I’m on the right path to embracing joy in the little things and allowing myself to live a life I love.