10 Steps to Falling in Love with Myself- A Series

This month everyone is talking about love.

They are sharing date nights, and cute Valentine’s crafts, and at home spa pedi ideas. And while I’d love an at home spa pedi like nobody’s business, I think I wanna take things a bit deeper- which we should all expect by now, right?

Two years ago my life was in an entirely different place than it is now. I was in a relationship at that time. My every thought was about him. Each act was made in order to bring him joy, or to gain his approval, acceptance, or some form of attention. I was consumed.I focused every single day on romancing him and cultivating our relationship.

My value and worth had quickly become based upon his reaction to me that day. Although I know he loved me dearly, I was relying upon him to validate my every word. And when those words were going unheard or challenged it was leaving me empty, feeling as if I was doing things wrong, or wasn’t worthy of being loved. My only purpose in my life was getting him to love me. Getting somebody to love me. And to approve of me and the way I do things.

The crazy part- I wasn’t even doing the things I wanted to be doing. Hell, I didn’t even know what I wanted to be doing. All I knew was that I enjoyed doing things with him. And that when he was happy with me and doting on me I felt like the queen of the world.

As you can imagine, a relationship like this won’t last. Not long anyway. And certainly not in a healthy manner. So, when we ended I found myself in a place I had been so many times before. Lost and alone.

With each break up I had experienced through my life I had lost a little piece of myself. So, here I sat at 25 years old, 5 real relationships later, and no ounce of my true self remained. I had given, and sacrificed, and found my only value within those relationships. Each time I molded more. Each time I lost trust in someone caring for my heart. Each time I left some of my dignity behind.

I had given so much to other people that I know longer knew who I was or what I wanted for my life. My dreams had become a combination of everyone else’s dreams. My ability to do things was based on what others told me I was capable of. My emotions were stuffed away and only shown as what I had been told was acceptable to feel. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, or how I felt about anything, because I was too (unknowingly) busy trying to be what I thought would be a lovable person. And yet, here I sat- unloved.

10 steps to falling in love with myself: A series from bemyintention.com
That was two years ago. Where am I now?

Absolutely, completely, to the moon and back in love. With myself.

You heard me. I discovered a way to find value in ME! I found a way to give myself my own worth. I learned the things I am passionate about, and began pursuing them. My life began unfolding in front of me because I gave it a purpose. I am no longer consumed in other people, or their direct opinions of me.

I am a super silly, kind of nerdy, kind of girly, kind of smart, and crazy passionate individual with a heart so big that I almost can’t contain it- and I am SO in love with that person. I’m obsessed with my cats. I totally nerd out on Harry Potter, and can be a complete slob sometimes. I’m not always perfect on following through, but I will forever aim to be better at it. Going on adventures is one of my favorite things in the world, as long as I approach them in the least adventurous way possible. I love to bake but rarely do it because, couch. I rarely wash my hair, and spend more hours than you care to know online window shopping. And you know what? I kinda don’t care what you think about it, because those are the things that make me me, and I like me that way.

This month will be focused on falling in love with yourself. Every nook and cranny. I can’t make you fall in love, only you can do that, but, I can share my experiences with you. And I can walk you through the things that have changed my life. It was hard, hard work. And it is still work, every single day. But let me tell you, it has been so worth every single moment I have invested.

You deserve to be more in love with yourself than you’ve ever been with another human being.

You deserve to know what gives you butterflies, and how to make yourself smile. You deserve to be valued. And you are exactly the person to do that. It will give you so much more hope than you could have ever imagined. And more passion than you know what to do with. And you know what else- I think your life will start going better than you could have ever imagined. It has for me at least.

Throughout the month of February I will walk you through the ten major things that helped me fall in love with myself. They may or may not be the perfect things to get you there, but they have most certainly changed my life.

If you want to stay up to date on this series click the little subscribe button to the right, you can get emails straight to your inbox each time I add one.

Join me here in this series. Leave comments. Share your experiences. I always love hearing them.

With Love.

10 steps to falling in love with myself  writing-a-personal-mission-statement (2) HOW I LEARNED THE TRUTH ABOUT MYSELF HOW MY VALUES DEFINE MY LIFE how i make it through the tough stuff are your words helping you or hurting you giving myself forgiveness

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22 Comments

  • Reply
    Heather with WELLFITandFED
    February 5, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    This is powerful and such an important message. So many girls and women out there who are taught not to like themselves very much. Thanks for spreading positivity.

    • Reply
      Kylie
      February 10, 2016 at 1:24 pm

      Absolutely! We are taught so early on to always compare and compete instead of love and embrace.

  • Reply
    Melissa
    February 5, 2016 at 4:36 am

    This is such an important thing that people need to realize! It took me the hard, long way to learn this. I was nodding along with you and so grateful you shared this so maybe it will resonate with others! 🙂

    • Reply
      Kylie
      February 10, 2016 at 1:23 pm

      Whooo! Thanks Melissa! I would love to see everyone learn this lesson, because it has truly changed my world. Everyone deserves that 🙂

  • Reply
    Caroline @ In Due Time
    February 5, 2016 at 12:28 am

    I have never thought about this, but what a great series! So glad you are choosing to take care of yourself!

    • Reply
      Kylie
      February 10, 2016 at 1:22 pm

      I have amazed myself to learn how little I was taking care of myself before! It’s certainly been a pleasant change.

  • Reply
    Tracy
    February 4, 2016 at 10:38 pm

    Love, love, love this… And of course, YOU!!!

    • Reply
      Kylie
      February 10, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      Thank you dear!

  • Reply
    Ivy
    February 4, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    You make your momma proud. I wish I had learned this major lesson earlier in life like you are. You can never go wrong when you love yourself!

    • Reply
      Kylie
      February 10, 2016 at 1:21 pm

      Thank you 🙂 I learned from the best.

  • Reply
    Beth
    February 4, 2016 at 7:33 pm

    I’m looking forward to this very much! Congratulations on figuring this out at a relatively early age!

    • Reply
      Kylie
      February 10, 2016 at 1:20 pm

      Thank you Beth! It’s definitely taken a lot of soul searching!

  • Reply
    Christie
    February 4, 2016 at 4:25 pm

    During my first marriage, I never realized how much I did not like myself (let alone love myself). It took me a long time to realize alot of things that happened in that marriage weren’t my fault. In fact, I left because I needed to keep my kids safe, and it wasn’t until I left that I realized how I deserved better just as much as my kids did.
    Now I’m remarried, to a wonderful man who lifts me up, and has helped me realize my worth and learn to love myself. I have a long way to go, but I am starting to love myself.

    • Reply
      Kylie
      February 4, 2016 at 5:07 pm

      That is amazing to have realized that Christie. So often, people put their own issues and insecurites upon us and ask us to carry the weight of that. When we don’t know who we are, it is so easy to believe them when they tell us we’re something else. We have nothing to back that up with. Oooo that just got me so excited for my “Know your Truths” section of this series 🙂

      Thank you for sharing your story!

  • Reply
    Shannon
    February 4, 2016 at 3:46 pm

    I loved reading this! I relate to your story quite a bit…it’s so hard to lose yourself in other people’s opinions. Loving yourself is so important and I’ve realized just how important with each year that passes. Always something we should work on!

    Shannon
    Clothes & Quotes

    • Reply
      Kylie
      February 4, 2016 at 3:49 pm

      Thank you for sharing Shannon! I can’t wait to see the growth that continues happening!

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