Here is where the vulnerability comes back. These past few months have been a little challenging for me. Although I have been continuing to feed the blog with things to keep it alive, I momentarily forgot the purpose and masked that forgetfulness with the excuse that maybe it had transitioned into something different. Realistically I had simply lost the balance of my mission here.
For those who don’t know where bemyintention started let me fill you in a little.
Around this time last year I had what some would call a spiritual awakening. I like to call it a life awakening. It was a moment where I gained this whole new understanding of everyday life. It wasn’t this grand spiritual moment, or even anything super emotional, it was simply a new understanding, a realization, an enlightenment of sorts.
I recognized that the life I had been living was lacking substance. And it wasn’t because it didn’t have anything substantial within it, it was just because I wasn’t allowing the substantial things to be acknowledged. Each moment of my day was just as significant as the last. The only things that stood out were the grandiose things. Either things that created overabundant joy or unbearable pain, but not really anything in between. So, I decided to learn to live my life with more meaning.
To do that I needed to be intentional in being present in my day. This meant constant awareness of my surroundings, learning to be in the moment instead of in my thoughts and fears of the past or future. And most of all it meant taking charge of the moments that were happening in my life. To take charge of those things I had to understand my intention behind moments. What was driving me to act and do the things I was doing? What did I want to see more of to fulfill those intentions and bring them more to light? And when I finished those thoughts I had to decide how can I BE that. Be that intention. My intention. The intention I have to live and what that looks like. I can think it, and hope for it, and know that it’s where my heart lives, but if I’m not living it then what’s the point? So, how do I be my intention?
The answer? Just be it. Make the effort. Choose it. Moment by moment make the choice to be who you want to be, to live the life you want to live. Because you are the only person who can do that. We are the only people who can change our own future, as well as present moments.
So, I chose to learn to take control of my moments.
Notice the word learn. I am definitely learning, and am okay with that. And more than anything I love that you are all here, across the world, learning with me.
Now here’s the part where I lay out my inner workings for you to see.
I have struggled with where I want this thing to go. This thing being the blog, my passion for making a difference and being a voice for others who want to make a difference, my love for fashion and shopping, my life, as well as my moments of vulnerability. Where am I taking this thing? I used to have a plan. And then I got excited about other things, which is really okay. But in that excitement I lost my focus. I’ve tossed around a million ideas and avenues where I could go, but nothing has felt complete. It’s just been this week that I have recognized the piece that is missing: my intention.
Refocusing I have seen where my focus has changed and which parts are missing and I am aiming to bring those things back.
Bemyintention.com started with the simple statement of “Today I choose to…” and somewhere along the road I forgot that that is the most important part of my life. I have been challenging myself a ton, but it’s been very much in a future goal oriented sense (we’ll get to that another day) and has been lacking the here and now sense.
This is where I say I’m learning. Being intentional and living mindfully is hard. Really stinkin hard. Sometimes I need reminders. So I ask that as readers, you help keep me accountable. I want to help keep you accountable too. If you want to know where my actions and intentions have been meeting, please ask. If I’ve neglected to share those pieces of my journey, the most import pieces, then feel free to tell me. That is my purpose here. To share my journey with you and the things I’m doing to make my life more meaningful to myself in order to bring more life to those around me. I plan on sharing more of that, because that’s the direction “this thing” needs to go.
So what have I done lately? Well all of the thinking about the above stuff for starters. But I’ve done things to remind myself to take action. I have posted quotes in multiple places in my life that remind me of where I want to go, and who I want to be. Some encourage working towards future goals and dreams, others remind me to stop and be present where I am. But I am constantly surrounded by encouraging words and reminders to Do More and Be Great, because today is a good day to be great.
With lots and lots of love and excitement.