About a month ago I started reading the book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo as a conscious choice to start making the venture into minimizing. (Reading about minimizing sounded much easier than actually minimizing, so I thought I’d start there… you can’t blame me, right?) It was a book I’d come across on multiple different blogs and pages, and had heard nothing but amazing reviews. And all for very good reason. Marie’s approach to tidying left me feeling alot more than the desire to clean.
I tend to be someone who associates material things with events that happen in my life. Each thing comes along during a certain season of life, and forever carries a reminder of that season for me. I can try to ignore it all I want, but the truth is the energy of that memory lives on through each of these items.
Never wanting to dispose of things that I might one day use, or something that is still in good condition, or possibly cost a decent amount of money I always end up with an abundance of “stuff” in my house. These things re always int he way, crowding my storage spaces, and leaving their dirty energy everywhere for me to work around or have to see through. I’m constantly working to tidy my home, because it never “feels” clean (even when it appears spotless.)
It’s funny how The Universe lines things up in perfect timing. My Capsule Wardrobe came along in a time when it was actually practical for my life, catapulting me into a realization that I can see myself and my life much more clearly when I’m surrounded only by things that truly spark joy in my heart.
So when I started reading this book it made perfect sense that my home was always feeling chaotic, as its the exact feeling I had been having about my closet.
Everyday I’m shuffling around in a space filled with things that are simply just there because they are there. I have no real heart attachment to most of my stuff and therefore it just feels that it’s in the way. And it CONSTANTLY feels in the way. I am always cleaning, tidying, getting rid of, reorganizing, spending full weeks spring cleaning in hopes that one day my home will feel like my home. But the piece I’ve been missing is that my home doesnt feel like home because it’s NOT my home. It’s home to past memories. Its home to old things with no purpose. Its home to clutter. And chaos. And unmeaningful objects. There are very few things that truly represent me in my home, and the few that are there are being smothered by the other things surrounding it. Its no wonder I feel like I can never “find myself.” I can’t even find anything that truly represents my spirit amongst the other “stuff.”
I look at all of the areas in my life and there happens to be a common theme happening: I only want to be surrounded by things I love. In my time, my home, my wardrobe, and even my relationships. I have intentionally been making choices that have pulled some negative pieces out of my life, however it’s been pretty unintentional that so many of these things have seemed to work to move me in the same direction: forward. I’ve been leaving the past behind and moving on to a place where I am free from baggage, angst, and strongholds.
The craziest part of this to me is that I guess I chose this for myself. Sorta prophesied it, if you will. In January I designated this a Year of Freedom (read about it here… it’s a good one) for myself and crazy to see that some of the actions I’ve taken have unintentionally followed right along in pushing me straight into the thing I’ve truly been longing for: Freedom.
So here I am now. Spring. Ready to let go of some of my past, and some of the bad things that are tied up with the material things in my life. I’ve decided to let go. And the thing I hadn’t anticipated is that it’s hard. Really hard. Picking up each item in my home, opening up my heart to whatever feeling its tied to it, and allowing myself to let go has brought up a lot of hard feelings. I’ve started seeing my weaknesses, and the things that I’m trying to hold onto, and choosing to move past them.
I recommend it. The pain of releasing some of those things has been intense, but after choosing to let go there’s this awesomeness that follows. This breath of fresh air. Like a weight that’s been on my chest for years is getting lifted off, pund by pound, item by item.
What a cool season.
I’ll honestly admit that I haven’t gotten far. I’m working right now through step one… releasing all of the clothes/ shoes/ accessories that I had moved out of my capsule wardrobe into the other spare closet, because I couldn’t bare the thought of actually getting rid of them. But with each item it’s getting easier. I can’t wait to see how much freedom I feel once I start working through the other stuff.
I know we’ve been talking a bit about minimizing for awhile now, and I’m curious to know what that looks like for you. Are there any areas in your life where you’ve found that cutting out some of the dead weight has made some major changes?
Thanks for taking part in this with me, and for the constant support I’ve been getting. You are awesome!