Impact: A Real Family’s Story

As a 26 year old, I am in the perfect position in life to be surrounded by friends who are having bridal shower after bridal shower followed by baby shower after baby shower. It seems as if the amount of friends who have gotten married in the last few years has jumped 500% from the years prior and even more-so in friends who are having beautiful babies.

I see all of these gorgeous families growing and being built around me and am taken aback by how truly incredible the process is. It’s been so fun to watch my friends fall in love, walk with them through the thoughts of marriage, and stand by their sides when maybe marriage was harder than they anticipated. Sometimes the relationship isn’t as strong as you thought and other times it’s even stronger. Sometimes the things that happen with their families aren’t quite in the plan, but are often times greater than they could have ever imagined.

As they work through the beginning stages of marriage I’ve gotten to watch the thought of children grow in their minds. The conversations start happening, the birth control gets thrown to the side, and then something really awesome happens; an excitement grows. It radiates off of both men and women. They get giddy talking about babies and light up when they get to hold someone else’s anticipating the day that it will be their own.

The exposure I’ve had to all the excitement and the new babies has been super fun, however there is another piece that comes with “trying” that I hadn’t really heard anyone talk about prior to these last few years. Maybe it’s just because I wasn’t surrounded by the right people, or because I was too young, or maybe it’s just because it doesn’t have as much light shed on it as maybe it should.

Having a baby isn’t always easy. For a LOT of people.That blew my mind, and continues blowing my mind as one by one I am hearing stories of miscarriage, infertility, and the discussion of adoption. I had no clue that so many people are burdened with the fear that children may not be an option for them, and my heart has been completely turned upside down by this thought.

Luckily there are many many options out there, and there is always hope, and prayer, and the promise of still having an amazing life a little different than what had been planned. Although I won’t be going through all of those options or how differently everyone’s experiences are, I am always open ears to hear your stories, and send you my love, support, and prayers.

Today’s intention is to share a beautiful story of one family who is incredibly dear to my heart: my sister Amanda and her husband Kevin.

Amanda has always been the ultimate little sister. I say ultimate because if you have a little sister, you know all of the characteristics I’m talking about. She can be a princessy little snowball of bubbly emotion, who tends to like the idea of getting things her way. But she is also beautiful and radiant, and full of a heart that wants to please others.

For as long as I can remember, Amanda has longed for a fairytale. She searched high and low for a Prince Charming to sweep her off her feet, spoil her like crazy, and give her a perfect family that she could prance around in little dresses and tiaras.

Kids have always been her center of focus. With three much younger little brothers, she took on the momma role and learned how to keep them under her wing. She’s spent many years working as a nanny and caring for others kids, and has wanted babies since she was a baby herself.

Kevin is a man. Through and through. He is strong and courageous, and has the most youthful heart you could ever find. He has about 5, or 15, or 35 siblings (I can never remember exactly how many, but just know that there are a lot of Ruffcorns out there) and is well suited for a family of big sizes.

So there was no surprise that when Kevin came along, swept Amanda off her feet, and offered her a life with Prince Charming, that they became enamored with the idea of having enough kids to start their own Little League. Neither one wanted to waste time or energy on a life without children when it seemed so destined that they spend their lives as parents. Working as a team to raise up a beautiful family  that would take over the world. They actually came up with a list of about 8 names they both agreed upon within the second or third month of dating… I remember specifically thinking they were both crazy people at the time, but quickly learned that it was exactly what they were made to do.

In 2012 Kevin and Amanda tied the knot in a beautiful little garden in Phoenix, Arizona. Bright eyed and bushy tailed they were ecstatic about starting a life together. It was no question for them that they wouldn’t waste any time on waiting for babies. So they got busy… I mean, most newlyweds do, but you know what I mean.

After two years and a miscarriage under their belt, Amanda and Kevin realized that maybe getting pregnant wouldn’t be as easy as they had anticipated. They chose to see a specialist and began treatments. I’ll let her tell the story from here:

Kevin and I began going to the Center for Reproductive Health in March of 2014. We were fortunate enough to have it within a 20 minute drive when most people drive many miles to see Dr. Edwin Robins. The first two months started with test after test after test until May, when we were finally able to begin treatment. On June 6th we found out we were pregnant, but it was a biochemical pregnancy. This means we were getting a positive test but nothing was coming up on the ultrasound because it was too early. Two days later, I miscarried. The next 3 months, we continued treatment and each month got no results. In September we decided to take a break due to the emotional strain and future travel plans that would interfere with treatment. We then convinced ourselves that we didn’t need treatment anymore.

After 3 months of trying to conceive naturally (again) and having no luck, we went back to Dr. Robins. We began the same treatment again, hoping for better results, but instead getting bad news. When returning to the office, I did a standard blood test to check my egg count and found out that it had dropped dramatically in the last time it had been tested (in the March of 2014). Not only that,  but we found out that Kevin’s sperm was not as strong as they would like it to be to produce better odds of conceiving. The latter piece of information was not given to us until about a month ago, although they tested him in March or April of last year. We are now starting our 7th month of treatment and are ready to try something new!

From this point forward, the treatment we are doing is called IUI, which stands for intrauterine insemination. I won’t bore you with what that entails, but if you are curious, you can google it or ask either of us. IUI has been proven to raise our chances of pregnancy by 25% each month! It is a simple process that, unfortunately, is not covered by our insurance. Each month/round of treatment will vary from $290 to $745 based on what our insurance decides to cover in regard to blood tests and ultrasounds.

This has been a very personal and private journey for us until now. We have shared our story with a few of you and have received such kindness and understanding.. more than we would have ever hoped for. Please do not feel obligated to donate, but, if you decide to remain anonymous while donating, please let us know that you have donated if you feel comfortable with it. We would like to send a special thank you to everyone who has donated.

Pray for strength and peace for both of us. AND PRAY THAT THIS RUFFCORN BABY COMES SOON!!!!

I share this story with an abundance of purposes. To bring awareness to something that maybe isn’t talked about enough. To bring comfort to those who have maybe experienced something similar. And to ask if you would like to help.

Of course, I dream of the day that I get to have more little ones in my life. And I dream for my sister and brother to have everything they could ever ask for.

Kevin and Amanda have set up a GoFundMe account in order to raise money for their next set of treatments. If you would like to support them then you can do that {here} and I will be matching all donations linked through me*. Leave bemyintention in your comment with your donation so I know how much to match!

If donating isn’t really your thing, but you’d like to show them some love and support, then feel free to leave a comment on this page or on their GoFundMe page!

Thank you all, as always for all of your support and love!

With Love.

*I have predetermined what my limit on matching will be as according to what my personal budget will allow.

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    February 17, 2015 at 8:54 am

    Tell them I’m praying for them, and god will give them a child(or) more in his time.

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